jueves, octubre 26, 2006

Cuchillos Ciegos...

El lunes quise decir que hay ocasiones en que es posible que haya instantes en que no necesite nada más, cuando tus ojos me abrazan y yo soy capaz de mirarte con mis manos.

Pero eso seguía siendo una de las tantas mentiras con que me he venido relacionando. Sé que mi puerta no tiene timbre, por eso han entrado muchas personas sin llamar.

Me preguntaron quién me había robado el mes de abril (como la canción de Serrano), yo no supe contestar, porque no lo tengo claro aun. Fue por eso, que rápidamente –y ocupando lo poco de instinto que me queda- repliqué la perrunita con un inteligente- ¿Te preguntaste como pudo sucederte a ti?

Y allí nos encontrábamos ella y yo. Ambos abatidos por nuestra mala fortuna. Rodeados de amor irracional, desenvuelto en una noche de trova en ese clásico bar de la Plaza Ñuñoa. Estábamos alegres desde las doce y media, porque una hora más tarde comenzaríamos un viaje. Sin saberlo.

No pienso contar nada más porque lo último que hice fue dejar esa puerta abierta, de ese extraordinario automóvil. Me gusta el aire, me dijeron fumando un cigarro de ricachones. Me gusta el humo, replique al instante.

Porque desde un tiempo a esta parte cuando busco escuchar un “te quiero”, con desesperación, es porque no me lo diría a mi mismo.

Ya no importa que mientan. Así es, porque no tengo reparos en engañarme o proyectarme guillotinas con los fanales atados, y abrazo la vida que es sólo mía.

Camino por lugares nuevos con el corazón sonriente. Eso, para hacer creer que me encuentro bien, aunque sea por primera vez. Ayer me dijeron que mi problema era intentar eludir la culpa que siento, por el constante abandono en el que me visto envuelto.

El problema radica en que cuando busco escuchar un te quiero con desesperación, siempre esperan también uno de mi parte. Y yo no me olvido cuando pedí un vaso con agua y me lo dieron hasta la mitad, para que me fuera luego.

Actualmente estoy dedicado a otros menesteres: a lanzarme cuchillos con los ojos vendados.

36 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Gracias...por tus dichos, se agradecen infinitamente!!!
Se supone que hae dejar fluir los sentimientos, pero me cuesta, de verdad. Quizás, por temor...sí, esa es la pura y santa verdad, me da muchísimo miedo expresar mis sentimientos y emociones.
Puxa, pero es no más...es algo que yo solita he construído.
Renato, pienso que estoy demasiado loca, ¿¿¿qué hacer???, uf!!! no lo sé.
Cuidese y esto ha sido una pequeña respuesta a sus palabras.
Repito se agradece un montón.
Cariños, Loquilla.

Lilo dijo...

¿La idea es probar que eres tan bueno, como para hacer un acto impecable y salvar ileso o ver que tanta suerte tienes como para flagelarte?

la sustituta dijo...

revisé mi blog, como lo hago de vez en cuando.... esta vez habían bastantes comentarios....
sólo me quedé acá para leer un rato y sobre todo agradecer no infinitamente, si no que con sobervias gracias, los párrafos que dejaste por allá...

tomo la invitación de continuar...

pd.: no eres el único quye juega a lanzarse cuchillos...

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Habitualmente Renato se tira al abismo más grande...

Es por eso que lo encuentro valiente, groseramente valiente.

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Se supone que ayer te vieron en el forestal con una mujer y un niño.

Me contaron que te veias feliz y lleno de luz.

Me alegro mucho, porque creo saber quien es ella. La verdad es que me cuesta convencerme de que no vendras más a mi casa, que esta al lado del forestal, y te llenes de luz conmigo.

Una pregunta... El pololo o marido de esa mujer, sabía que estaban juntos?

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Pd: Olvidé decirte que si quieres, yo puedo prestarte mis interiores para ese trabajito.

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